Kayaking the Jersey Pines and Being Happy

I used to kayak at least once a week with my dad and his cronies, but then life got in the way.  Funny how you wake up one day and realize that you are not happy with your life.  You want things different to the point that we both left our jobs and bought an Airstream.  I think I need to go back on my meds lol.  I found the more money I made I was less and less happy.  I know that money makes life easier, but does it make you happy, right?!  My friends make me happy.  My family makes me happy.  Don some days lol.  How does money make you happy?  It has no soul, no life, but it does buy the things we need – damn, almost had it figured out.  We all have our own story and our own journey, but mine is just like yours.  How do you change in your 50’s?  How do you live differently?  I let go of a good job.  I rented my house out.  What was I thinking, really??!!  My soul was lost and I was not happy.  Actually miserable and Don said the last month of my job I was a bear to live with.  I had the perpetual frown on my face when I am usually the happy smiling kind.  Unless it is before morning tea/coffee then all bets are off, seriously.  I have to admit that I felt I was a slave to our house with all the maintenance, cleaning, repairs, bugs, and whatever else could possibly happen with a property.  I wanted more out of my life.  I tried to find a job somewhere else, anywhere.  I wanted to move and see different things.  Taking vacations several times a year was not enough to cure that itch.  Then Don found a way for us to do it and I am so glad he did.  I am scared.  I am actually terrified.  I am excited.  I want to throw up.  I am going to miss my family.  I am going to miss my friends.  I am going to miss my colorist.  I want to scream in joy.  I want to scream in fear, but we are doing this – together.  It is going to be one hell of a ride for sure in the Airstream or was that a kayak?
Oh, but this was supposed to be a talk about kayaking in the jersey pines and being happy.  I kayaked with my dad and his friends yesterday and it was awesome.  I had not seen some of these cronies in a few years and this was always something that I enjoyed doing with my dad.  It will probably be one of the last times I will do this with him.  He is getting older and I am not sure how often I will be back to do this with him.  It was easy, relaxing and enjoyable.  We all laughed, especially at me, as I loathe spiders and they always find a way into my kayak every damn time.  I am getting pretty good at killing them without tipping over.  We stopped for lunch on a bend and talked about how the water had risen from the cranberry farms letting the waters out and the dry summer we had……just easy things about life and taking time to enjoy.  We only did a few hours and the current was taking us more than we were paddling.  The weather has been unseasonably warm and we certainly took advantage of it.  Maybe I never took time to smell the roses or those kayak trips or maybe the light bulb finally came on for me.  I really do not know, but I am happy, calm and comfortable.  I feel like I can breathe and get out in a kayak to enjoy the jersey pines and my dad

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